


Why Is It Even Matter?

by Sushi_Burger



Category: Men's Football RPF
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Enemies to Friends, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-20
Updated: 2019-02-20
Packaged: 2019-11-01 05:08:37
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,261
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17860883
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sushi_Burger/pseuds/Sushi_Burger
Summary: "No one bites" said Gerard Piqué, an intellectual.Or;When Leo felt desparately insecure, he didn't expect help from the devil, more specifically, Sergio Ramos.





	Why Is It Even Matter?

"I'm so sorry, Geri. I just..."

 

"It's all fine, you not wanna be alone is not something bad. People have fundamental rights to reach out you know? Even someone from outer space like you."

 

Leo sighed, a little bit with relieve. He never gonna win Gerard in talking, anyway. "Thanks"

 

"Great. You have my key?"

 

"Yeah"

 

"Ok. I'll be back asap. Make yourself at home as always."

 

The line gone death at the same moment Leo pulled his car in Geri's garage. The Argentine closed his eyes in desperation, trying to breath normally. Yes, it's not bad to fear loneliness but it's not normal. He knew it. As much as feeling sorry, he did feel grateful that at least he had someone to call for help and home. 

Well, exactly he just wanted to let out some stress, to let someone know that he hated being alone sometimes. He's so desperate that he forgot how Geri would react, well, overact.

 

'Move your ass to my house. No one bites' as quoted.

 

He took a deep breath, doing mental note to prepare Gerard his favorite foods, before getting off his car. The owner of the house was off town but thankfully, he had the key Gerard gave him ages ago with the keeping place and the reason he honestly already forgot.

While he was trying to recall that reason together with where the hell he kept that key, the door was opened.

 

"Hey, dude, it took you forever to get here from your car. Are you alright, no?"

 

He knew Gerard was full of the 'wow' factor.

But he didn't expect,

 

to have half-naked Sergio Ramos open the door for him. 

 

"Don't worry, Geri already told me. Come on in."

 

God is dead.

 

 

 

\------

 

 

 

'No one bites' said Gerard Piqué, an intellectual.

 

But Leo was not so sure. Because the man, still half-naked, absolutely bit hard on the pitch with him as the main target. Even he kinda noticed that Sergio was pretty nice off pitch, but trauma was real alright?

 

"Coffee?"

 

The Blanco captain offered him with a coffee jar in his hand. Leo nodded, awkwardly. He didn't need coffee at 5 in the evening but neither he knew how to turn it down in this situation. He never had this private moment with anyone not close to him before, not to mention Sergio fucking Ramos.

After getting the coffee, they sat together in the living room with a complete silence for a solid twenty minute. It's rude not to start any conversation. To his defense, he couldn't even look at the other with full eyes. Not because of that tattooed skin but, well, love mark of you know who clearly seen on his back and neck. 

 

It's not that he never seen any scratch on Gerard's back but still, give him a break.

 

Though he did aware of the other's gaze swiftly put on him. And whenever he looked back, he would find the Madridista on his phone, vague expression reeling on those brown eyes.

 

"How's your legs?" 

 

The other broke the silence without making an eye contact, for which he really was grateful. 

 

"Better. Still feel little uncomforted." It sounded like he told Sergio the truth about this situation, though. "How's your...day?"

 

He heard the Spaniard scoffed a little "You're incredible in an awkward way. My day is good. Thank you for asking."

 

"Is that a sarcasm?" 

 

"Depends on how you see it."

 

"You sound like Geri"

 

"Offended" Sergio jokingly made a face. That's when Leo realized that now they're looking at each other more directly. "Really, you don't have to be nice to me if you're not up to small talk. Me neither. I just honestly want to know about your legs, to decide whether or not we have a chance not to let you near our goalkeeper."

 

The Blaugrana responded, weird enough, without any second thought.

 

"Not even 0.1 %, you are doomed."

 

"Now it's you who sounds like Geri." Sergio smirked, a little more sincere. "Good"

 

He felt some weight had been lifted off his shoulder. Almost forgot that it was on him before. "Ramos."

 

"Just Sergio."

 

"Okay, Sergio." He hesitated for a minute. "Can I mention Cristiano?"

 

The other blinked before giving him an assuring smile. "Of course. Actually, that should be my question."

 

"Wait. Don't you guys...hate each other already?"

 

"He is a pain in the ass. Sadly, he is my pain in the ass. Unfollowing me on instragram couldn't make our nine-year of being each other ass of a friend get any worse." Sergio coughed "Back at you, what's matter with that kale diva?" 

 

Leo couldn't help but laughed at that weird nickname, even when it's aching in the heart. Harshly made him realize that despite how nice the other was to him now, it's peculiar to talk with Sergio about his pain in the ass. In anyway. He better shrugged it off.

 

"I take it back. It's not a big deal, really."

 

"Right," Sergio rolled his eyes. "Still, taking how worried Geri's voice sounded like when he called me about you, it is that big, isn't it?"

 

"You know that Geri's a little drama queen, right?"

 

"I do. But I also know that Cris can be a dick as a boyfriend sometimes. So we can talk this out if you want"

 

Leo choked. 

 

"No, we're not dating."

 

"So why is it even matter?"

 

That punched him in the face. Intended or not.

 

He didn't notice until now, that he was never asked this question by anyone but himself before. Yet he didn't try to answer neither. Sergio's cruel straightforwardness made him realize one hell truth he should have known if he was being honest --- he just always wanted to be the one who question, not answer. Though he did know that no one could do it for him, 

 

Figure of the Portuguese flashed in. More hurt than ever.

 

No one, not even Cristiano could tell him _Why it is even matter._

 

It was supposed to be all fine. No matter that Cris had moved out of Spain without telling him a single thing. No matter that he just sent a good-bye message right after he was introduced with Juventus. No matter that he made that fucking interview to challenge him to move to Italy. No matter that he looked all cool and happy with Paulo after only sending him a little short 'I miss you' once in a while. No matter that he had been left alone when he thought that Paulo was a good kid and Cris would be definitely happy with him. He would move on, without Lionel Messi in his life. No matter that that thought made him panicked to the point that he helplessly called Gerard. No matter that now his eyes were bursting in front of Sergio who was not even been in his inner circle.

 

_Why is it even matter?_

 

"Because," He didn't even know when he was pulled into a hug "we are not,"

 

"You are so stubborn." Sergio mumbled under his breath. "Both of you."

 

"It doesn't make any sense."

 

"Avoiding it makes no sense either,"

 

"I know."

 

The Spaniard grunted in disapproval, okay, Sergio did sound like Gerard to a bloody inappropriate level. Except that now he let go of him more easily. "You better do. But for now, Geri will kill me if he see you like this."

 

"I'm sorry,"

 

"Don't be. It's my fault I pushed you too much. I push everything too much to be honest."

 

"Well, that's why Geri go head over heel for you."

 

Sergio snorted "Obviously."

 

It's quite rare to see the other's blushing, even very slightly. Leo grinned though his eyes are still all red. "Are you hungry?"

 

"Not really, but I'll order you pizza as an apology,"

 

"I have wine lay dead in my car, though"

 

"Where is Piqué?"

 

"Somewhere only he knows, I personally don't"

 

They exchanged a glance, before ending up laughing as if they had been friends for so long. 

 

 

 

\------

 

 

 

Gerard knew too damn well that Sergio was the real 'wow' factor.

 

But this time was another level. 

 

He didn't expect to come home, seeing his best friend, his Leo being wasted. Laying peacefully under the blanket. Next to him was his fucking asshole unapologetically not stop drinking. Didn't even look drunk at all. 

 

"Sese. What the hell,"

 

"Oh," The asshole just acknowledged his existence, good. "You're late."

 

"Regret."The Catalan scowled, looking at his friend's pale skin that got red too easily. It's even worse when he discerned the trace of other thing than alcohol. "He's crying?"

 

Sergio grinned back "Better than repress all that shit"

 

"Sergio"

 

"I wish you heard he cursed 'fucking Ronaldo'. 100% stress relieve."

 

"It's not funny,"

 

"No, not at all." Los Blancos stood up, making sure his step toward Gerard wouldn't wake the little guy on the couch. "Relax. You're hot when you're protective and all but it would only get you more wrinkle."

 

"Come here you bastard." 

 

Gerard threw a look before squeezing his former captain tight. Resting his head on the other's bare shoulder, seeking comfort from it. 

 

"How's Leo?"

 

"As you see, depressed, insecure, drunk"

 

"You did take a good care of him. Thank you."

 

"Right," Sergio scoffed, pretending to sound hurt and jealous."He's _your_ precious Leo anyway."

 

"You want to be my precious Sese too?"

 

"Hell, no"

 

"Liar," Gerard sing-songed, gently placed the kiss on the other's skin. "I love you to death"

 

Sergio gasped, sensing the hot lips made its mark from shoulder tip to the base of his neck. "Well, then. I wonder if you would like to be my date tomorrow."

 

"I would be everyday" Geri chuckled. "Wait, is that a serious question?"

 

"Dead serious. I already booked the lunch course."

 

Geri backed off to meet Sergio's eyes. That glimpse of seriousness peculiarly mixed with some unreadable mischief. 

 

"What about Leo? Sergio. I know it's not fair to you but I won't leave him alone, at least at this point of time."

 

"I'm sorry"

"What?"

 

"You will hate me for this." Sergio lifted up to kiss Gerard lovingly, before giving him the most smug kind of face. Not sorry at all. "But I didn't say he would be alone."

 

Indeed, 

his boyfriend was always a fucking 'wow' factor he didn't ask for.

 

 

 

\------

 

 

 

Hangover's suck, so was life.

 

Leo did remember how devastated he was last night. Even if he hadn't, the headache still made it way to recall him. He drank too much. Cursed too much. Cried too much. Could be nothing but loser and shit. And, oh, more shit.

 

He could blame no one but his-pathetic-self.

 

The Argentine looked around, finding himself on Geri's bed. Water and painkiller lay on the side table. No one was here. Then the scent of morning coffee reminded him that they might be in the kitchen. Suddenly, while headache made him feel like to lie on bed another whole day, his stomach sounded like it had a very different idea.

He miserably rubbed his head while walking down to the first floor, mentally prepared himself to make a conversation which would gonna be awkward, really awkward, especially with Sergio. Ok. Lionel. Relax. He surely won't bite. Just say hi, how are you, thanks for yesterday, and then leave it to Geri. Oh, thanks Geri too. Yes, you got this.

 

"Leo."

 

No, you _fucking not,_

 

He froze. Felt a sudden clench in the stomach. 

 

He remembered that deep voice. Remembered that tall figure standing out of any sceneries. Remembered that confident attitude and unforgivably attractive smile. Remember that dark brown eyes looking at him with serious glimpse he couldn't dare to read. He couldn't even call out his name nor manage to run away when the other came closer.

 

He didn't prepare to face Cristiano Ronaldo, not today, not in anytime soon.

 

"Leo, we need to talk."

 

Cris matched up his gaze. His voice sounded almost like a plea. Leo felt desperate. He sure didn't want to talk when all things he could do was trying not to breakdown right in front of him. Why on earth Cris was here, in Spain, in Barcelona, in Gerard's house of all place---

 

_Ramos._

 

"I don't know what Sergio told you, but we have nothing to talk."

 

"We fucking do." Cristiano sighed. "Churu told me only that you were here, and that I was a dick. That meant you were not fine. So I forced him to clear the way, more specifically, Piqué, and then came here."

 

"Why bother?"

 

"I care about you, Leo. Obviously." 

 

"But _why_ " The question was shattered. He wish this didn't sound sarcastic. "Why do you care, Cristiano. We aren't even friend."

 

"No, we're not."

 

"See," He honestly didn't want to sound this harsh, this insecure. But all emotion that has long been stuck in his chest was too overwhelmed to control." So don't let yourself be held back by nobody. New chance, new life is waiting for you."

 

But not _here._

 

"I don't understand." The Portuguese clearly looked confused "Why are you always like this?

 

"Like what,"

 

"Avoiding me. It makes no sense."

 

That's it.

 

"You know what's else doesn't make any sense?" Leo snapped uncontrollably. "You." His fist clenched tight, trying not to get physical despite how much he wanted to punched that perfect face. "Why do you have to make me feel like you care and then leave? Is it even necessary to make me feel like I matter again and then, just decide you don't want to have me no more? Does it entertain you pulling me back and forth, between thinking that you need me and you're not, at all? It's not a fun game, Cristiano. I'm tired. So tired that I don't want to know anymore what am I to you. I don't even want to think that _why are you so matter_ to me. I,"

 

He stopped, sobbing hard. His mind was hazy and all gone in to abyss of despair. He was confused, he knew it's not tiredness catching up on him. 

 

He knew it best.

 

"I'm scared. Cris. Fucking. Scared. I'm scared to know why you didn't tell me about moving and all I've heard was from the news. I'm scared to know why you had to text me still. I'm scared to know why you need me in Italy. I'm scared to know why you looked so happy with Paulo. I'm scared to know why, after all this shit, you had to tell me you miss me. I ask myself why are you matter this much and I'm scared to answer it. I'm so scared that I use it not to reach out to you because I'm scared I would hold you back. I don't even know why I even come up with the idea that I would be able hold you back. I---I'm so scared that I blamed it on you."

 

"Leo, enough"

 

"No, it's on me. I'm sorry. You're right. I'm being nonsense. I'm a selfish asshole. Please. Just leave---"

 

The strong embrace held him close without any hesitation, not anymore. It's warmer than it was before. The gentle kiss pressed on his temple, repeatedly, longingly.

 

"I love you."

 

With the word that scared him the most.

 

"I didn't have a gut to tell you that I was leaving. I was so scared of your response. I realized that I was a dick and decided to text you afterward because I really felt sorry. I'm scared you wouldn't want me in your life anymore while all I ever wanted to do was being with you, Italy or not. I did have a great time with Paulo and Juventus, but not even close to the happiness I got when I was with you. That's why I miss you. But still I didn't figure it out what you really think of me and it made me hesitated to text you every time I wanted to because, god, it's like everyday. I don't want to put any pressure on you. You're right, we aren't friend. Never be. For me, I always wish we could be more than that." 

 

Every phase, every word was reassured by a soft brush that kissed the tear away. 

 

"It's on me I never told you. I leave you this insecure about yourself, about me, about us. After all this time. I know it's not convincing either to tell you that this was always what behind all my action. But," The dark browns met his gaze. So certain. "I love you, Lionel. I really do."

 

"But I,"

 

"Any chance for me, _amor_?"

 

Leo felt like he was laughing, and crying all over again. "I don't know what to say,"

 

"It's one word. You can do this."

 

"No, Cris" The Argentine tried hard to express in a less confusing way, but he failed. He still ended up weeping more like baby while smiling more like crazy. "I owe you, more than that. Cristiano. You're so much more than that one word."

 

Warm tear slid down the other's cheek. 

 

Cris still smiled, even more widely, happily, but it freaked Leo out. He never saw Cristiano crying before. He couldn't be certain even it meant they're more than fine or he's fucked it up. But, hell, he was beautiful. 

 

To Cristiano's surprise, Leo leaned in and gave him the deepest kiss they ever did. 

 

Cristiano stunned for a moment before kissing back, even more passionate. His hands move quickly to Leo's waist, lifted the little Argentine up on the kitchen counter, almost broke the kiss. Leo grunted in disapproval, arms wrapped around the other's neck to deepen it once again. He redeemed himself to give him more longing kiss, tracing from the lips down to the neck. Then they moved back to kissing each other again and again. They cried. They laughed. They kissed. They told one another they were loved. Then they kissed again.

 

But once they would go further, they heard some strange, loud thud from the outside.

They didn't see what it is, but it sounded like Gerard.

 

"Excuse us! We're not here!"

 

And that's definitely Sergio.

 

Leo gave Cris a confusing look. His pale skin suddenly turned red."They're always here?"

 

The Bianconeri cursed in Portuguese. "I underestimated that dipshit."

 

"Does that mean Geri?"

 

"Yes, it's me, puta!!" There he was, the wild Gerard Piqué appeared. Unpleasant look. Tousled hair. After him was Sergio who looked not less awful. As if they were wrestling their way to the house."Be appreciate my kindness to let you come this close to Leo. But that's enough, my house is not a fucking love nest!"

 

"It surely is" Sergio protested, unimpressed.

 

"What? You still upset I turned down your lunch course?"

 

"Fuck you"

 

"Save that for later, hot stuff" Gerard blew the kiss, dodged the kick. Then brought back the serious tone "Hear me Ronaldo, don't you dare make him cry again. This is the last time for my patience."

 

" 'Don't you dare make him cry again' " Sergio mimicked, still, Leo sensed that word piercing right toward him. That's fair. He deserved that. Actually he thought he even deserved the Blanco punching him real hard. 

 

Amidst the cat fight of the two idiots, Cristiano hugged him, leaning his head on his chest. Made sure to feel the sound of his pounding heart. 

 

"I won't. Now, I'm all yours."

 

God,

He could die now.

 

"Same here" Leo had no attempt to force back the joyful tear anymore. "Always yours."

**Author's Note:**

> At first I didn't plan this to be full Cressi angst but here we are. I just love the Ramessi dynamics (as friend or more than that, it's all cool) I also love to see the two idiots (read: serard) together as a supportive, mood-maker friend. My soul is saved. Thanks for coming to my stupid ted talk and feel free to leave any comment!


End file.
